Hey,
I was chatting to someone recently who told me he really related to a silly corporate ritual I'd written about in Experimental: the meeting after the meeting.
You know the one. Everyone sits through a meeting, nodding politely, barely challenging anything, not even sure if they should be there.
Then the meeting ends, and suddenly everyone has opinions 🤷♀️
People are huddled in corridors talking candidly about why what was just discussed has no chance of survival in reality. They're typing with a little smirk on their face, ranting to their work bestie about all the ways this new idea is going to fail just like the last one.
All the opinions, objections and things people wouldn't dream of saying in the meeting come flooding out.
I find that silly. Maybe you do too?
It feels like such a waste of time and effort to bring together lots of smart people, only to walk away with the appearance of agreement while everyone privately thinks something completely different.
But his story was a lot less silly, and a lot more serious.
Apparently, people at his organisation had been a bit braver. They'd been complaining openly on Slack after meetings, sharing their observations, challenges and dissent.
And, according to him, some had been fired for it.
That's one way to deal with dissent, I guess…
What happens when someone disagrees with you?
Now, I'd like to think I'd always speak my mind. I've never been particularly gifted at keeping my opinions to myself (for better or for worse 😅).
But if I'd watched colleagues lose their jobs after challenging decisions, would I be quite so outspoken?
Maybe not.
We often talk about wanting people to speak up, challenge ideas and bring their whole selves to work. But what happens when they actually do?
You don't have to fire someone to make them think twice about speaking up again. That’s a pretty extreme way of dealing with dissent.
What happens if the boss gets visibly irritated when they're challenged?
Or when they explain away someone's concerns before they've even finished speaking?
And sometimes it's as simple as everyone knowing that the decision was made long before the meeting started, and deciding there’s no point in actually speaking up.
People are pretty good at reading the room.
If experience tells them that speaking up will achieve very little, or might even come back to bite them, why would they bother?
And then we're surprised when all the honest conversations happen afterwards.
Your one bold move:
Invite a different perspective
Next time you're discussing an important decision, try asking:
"What's something obvious that I'm missing?"
It's a small question, but it gives people an invitation to bring an observation to the room. You're inviting people to help you spot something, rather than asking them to challenge you.
And when someone answers, get curious. Ask them to tell you more, rather than explaining why you've already considered and dismissed their point.
You don't have to agree with everyone. but you can show people that disagreeing with you is welcome.
And if your team has learnt that speaking up comes with consequences, one question won't undo that overnight. They'll need to see you respond positively, again and again.
But one question with the right intent is a good way to start. And perhaps, eventually, the real meeting can happen in the meeting, rather than in the group chat afterwards.
Happy experimenting!
Amale
Whenever you're ready, here's how we can work together:
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